By Corey Whelan

When you were little, you probably loved the pediatrician who gave you a lollypop after shots. When you got older, your gynecologist (if you’re lucky) was always there with solid advice about whatever was up for you – including info on how to avoid getting pregnant.

As you age and change, so do your medical needs. When that at-home pregnancy test stubbornly refuses to cooperate, the doctor who was an expert at pap smears and BCP-prescription giving may no longer be the right choice for you.. But how do you know?

Whether you’re seeing an infertility specialist or not, self-advocacy and self-love are required to determine if your current doctor is the right one.

It can help to check in with your gut. Ask yourself: Does my doctor get me?

If you’re on the youngish side, at least by infertility standards, and your doctor refuses to give you and your partner infertility tests, keeps telling you not to worry, or urges you to check in again when you’re over 30, they don’t get you -or your longing. Infertility is not just an over-30 concern. Lots of women in their 20s have trouble conceiving because infertility is, you know, a disease. It can happen to anyone for about a hundred reasons that have nothing to do with age.

If your doctor is getting ready to write your seventh script for Clomid and has never tested your hormone levels, given you a sonogram, or suggested your honey get his sperm checked, they don’t get you. Not every doctor understands that testing is just as important as treatment. Even if their business card or a fancy plaque on their wall calls them an infertility specialist.

If your doctor says that your weight might be a factor in your struggle to conceive and tells you to lose weight and come back in a year if still not successful, but doesn’t ask about your experience with weight loss, ask about any family history of obesity, and doesn’t offer any assistance in a weight loss plan, they don’t get you. A healthy weight can be a very important aspect of trying to conceive. However, achieving and maintaining a healthy weight can be very difficult for some people, and professional assistance can be a great help in meeting one’s weight goals.

If you cry through every appointment and your doctor won’t make eye contact, and doesn’t suggest options for supporting the emotional part of you, guess what. They don’t get you. It may be time to take matters into your own hands and look for a new doctor that isn’t afraid of your very legitimate feelings.

If you want to try a new treatment and your doctor refuses to take your opinion into account, they don’t get you. Luckily, WE get you. If you need a second opinion, a question (or a hundred questions) answered, log into the FertilityAnswers app today. We’ve been there and done that. We will help you figure out the next steps if you need us to.

You are not alone.